A New Way Of Defining My Feminism

future is female kayla

A few weeks ago I asked Kayla, my just turned 5 year old, what she wants to be when she grows up.  She told me she wants to be “a teacher, then a mommy”.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  Why does my little girl think you need to stop working when you become a mom? Is my 5 year old so jaded that she already thinks you can’t have it all? Can she really believe that a woman has to give up her career when she becomes a mother? Then I realized she must feel that way because of me.  I like to think of myself as a feminist, a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man, after all, I do own my own business.  But I’m not.  I am dependant on my husband because my income is neither steady nor as substantial as his.

I was having a few drinks with a friend when I realized that I was in fact financially dependant on my husband.  I cried because I thought I was a feminist.  I have come to realize that I can rely on my husband’s income while still being a feminist because that is how I choose to live my life.  I grew up in a family that values education, and I always believed I would have a successful career.  I graduated from law school and passed the Florida Bar, but I do not practice law.  My husband is a firefighter who works 24 hour shifts.  If I was a lawyer, who would drop off and pick up the kids from school the days my husband was working?  Who would take them to karate, gymnastics and ballet? My mother is a biologist and professor while my father owned his own business.  Both my parents wouldn’t get home from work until past 7pm.  I was fortunate to have grandparents and babysitters to take me to extracurricular activities and I was only able to participate in those activities because of how hard my parents worked.  If I practiced law, we could hire babysitters and rely on grandparents, but I CHOOSE not to do that.  I could find a job as an attorney that paid well enough for my husband to stay home, but why would I ask my husband to sacrifice a career he loves so I could have a career I don’t even want? I want to have the ability to be there for my children and choosing to put my family before my career does not make me any less of a feminist.

I know that I am lucky and many families do not get to make the decisions we have made, that many do whatever they must do to survive, whether that is working a job they hate or having to stay home with their children when they want to work out of the home.  My kids are in preschool, so I get to work, and get a break because staying at home with your children is the HARDEST job of all, but I also can drop everything and pick my kids up early from school if they are sick or if I just feel like taking them out to lunch.

So my daughter may think she wants to stop working as a teacher when she has children and I am no longer disappointed by that or ashamed that it is because of the choices I have made, because the most important part of being an independent woman is to choose to do what you want, to choose to do what will make you happy.

Besides, Kayla is only 5, I’m sure she will change her mind about her career aspirations dozens of times before she even joins the workforce.  I hope when Kayla does get a job, there is no more wage gap; afterall, I am still a feminist.  My own struggle with coming to terms with my own feminism led to adding “The Future is Female” tees to the kd Closet Etsy shop.  No it is not an original idea or slogan, but a portion of the proceeds from every shirt sold is donated to The National Girls Collaborative Project which encourages girls to seek careers in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) fields.  I believe my son will be just as successful as his sister, so to me, The Future is Female means that there will be more opportunities for women in the future, that more women will at least have the same encouragement to pursue careers in fields that have been overwhelmingly male dominated.  And if Kayla wants to be a teacher, a career that is already dominated by women, good for her, as long as she gets paid the same as the male teachers.

future is female

 

Creating a New Way to Shop kd Closet

I recently made a very hard decision: kdCloset.com will no longer be shoppable, but don’t worry, you can still purchase designer new and like new maternity, baby and kids’ fashions through our eBay store and custom made to order items through our Etsy shop! kdCloset.com will still exist, but it will simply direct you to eBay or Etsy to shop or here to read our blog.

I am a work at home mom, working by myself, with no employees, though my husband, parents and even children help me out.  Since I began creating custom cups, tees and other items, I have been slacking on the resale part of kd Closet.  It was a difficult decision, but as most entrepreneurs learn quickly, making tough decisions is a major part of owning your own business.  Instead of maintaining three online stores, I will only maintain two, which frees up time to add new resale clothing to the eBay store and to create new original designs for the Etsy shop.  Thank you for your understanding! If you are reading this and have kdCloset.com store credit, please click the contact link at the top.

To thank you for being a loyal reader and customer, use this link to save 15% on your entire purchase in our eBay Store: http://ebay.us/XXm10c and you can save 15% on your entire purchase from our Etsy Shop when you use KDCLOSET15 at checkout.

Working Out With Kids

 

Before I opened kd Closet, my husband and I owned a gym.  We went out of business several years ago, but working out is still a major part of our lives.  I’m one of the unlucky people who can exercise hours a day and it won’t make a difference unless I watch what I eat.  So I’ve gained a bunch of weight since we closed the gym, even though I work out longer and harder than ever before.  In fact, this is the most I’ve ever weighed and not been pregnant! So I have selfish intentions with this post, I’m publicly declaring I’m too fat and I need to clean up my eating.  My hope is that now I need to be accountable to you and in a few months, I will write about some healthy, quick and easy recipes I’ve used to lose weight and feed my family.

I’m not an expert on fitness, though I was certified to teach group exercise classes for years, but I am an expert on working out with kids.  Mindset is better motivation to exercise than anything else.  I truly enjoy working out so I want to do it.

pregnant-me
38 Weeks Pregnant with #2

Here I am 38 weeks pregnant with my son, about to teach a Spinning class.  I like working out so much (and hoped it would help me go into labor) that I continued teaching until the day before being induced with both babies.

I still love exercising and am a much better mom and wife if I take an hour or two to get a workout in, five or six days a week.  But once I had kids that became a bit more challenging.  The easiest way to exercise with kids is to workout before they wake up.  A few days a week I go to a 6am Crossfit class at Crossfit Oviedo, an amazing place just a few miles from my house. If you live in the Orlando area, go check out Crossfit Oviedo, you will get an awesome workout in less than an hour! I get home just after 7 and can get them ready for preschool and out the door before doing cardio or getting to work in my home office.  I have it easier than other parents because I am my own boss, make my own hours and work from home.  This also means work is not really an excuse to skip a workout.  If you ever see me post on  Instagram at 8am, then I am multitasking and using the stairclimber while I create kd Closet social media posts.  If you see me dropping my kids off at school, a sweaty stinky mess, I swear I’m not a dirtbag, I’m just on mom duty between workouts.

yoga-fam

 

 

On weekends or days the kids do not have school, I like to bring the kids to the gym with me.  They play in the gym’s kid’s club where they meet new friends, get a change of scenery and play with new toys.  This isn’t always an option because the kid’s club is only open limited hours and if we can’t get ourselves together and loaded in the car early enough, we can’t go to the gym together.  My other weekend fitness option is to get the kids involved in a workout.  We live down a dirt road so even a short run pushing the kids in the jogging stroller is a great workout! After we run, my husband and I will set up stations in the yard so we can take turns playing with the kids and working out.  We try to incorporate strength and cardio into most of our exercises because our kids don’t have the longest attention spans.  And as a mom, I have become the queen of multitasking.  Some of our favorite exercises are jump squats and lunges, push ups, burpees, jumping rope with a weighted jump rope, and box jumps.  We try to get the kids involved, if we do suicides, we encourage the kids to run along and race.  They have their own jump ropes, but they are only 2 and 4, so they don’t have the coordination to actually jump rope.  We use sidewalk chalk and play hopscotch, which can be challenging if you hold dumbbells and squat in each square. If the kids play on the swingset, we mount the TRX straps on the playset or do jump squats between pushes on the swings.   We even just got the kids these adorable adjustable dumbbells.  They are super light when empty and can be filled with water or sand to add weight.  Sometimes we even just do a yoga video in the playroom.  The kids play with their toys, but wander over from time to time to do a bit of yoga.

 

matt-derek-lift
Father Son Beast Mode

The best way I have found to workout with kids is to do an active family activity.  We drive to the state park just up the road and go on a short hike.  Our jogging stroller converts to a bike trailer so we go out to brunch, go for a bike ride on a bike path, then end the ride at the frozen yogurt shop- I did tell you nutrition was my problem, right?

I know my family is more fortunate than most, we live in Florida where it is mild enough for fun outdoor adventures year-round.  We were able to save some equipment from when we owned a fitness center so we did not need to invest in a home gym.  My husband is nice enough to start getting the kids ready on days I am at early morning crossfit workouts.  The gym I have a membership at has a great play area for the kids with sweet and caring staff.  So trust me, I get that many of you may not find it as easy as I do to work out, but it will change your life. I have more energy and patience when I get to work out.  I’m nicer to everyone when I take a bit of time for myself.  Best of all, I know that I am setting a good example for my children.  I hope that exposure to health and fitness at such a young age will make them choose playing outside as opposed to playing video games when they are older.

So what are your tricks for fitting fitness into your lives? Do your kids like to workout with you? What are some active activities you do as a family?

 

First blog post

Welcome to kd Closet! My children, Kayla (the K) and Derek (the D) were my inspiration for kd Closet. I started kd Closet because I love dressing my children in designer clothing, but like most moms, I do not want to spend too much on an outfit my child will wear a handful of times before outgrowing.  I began by selling my childrens’ clothing on Ebay.  I owned another business at the time and realized I was devoting hours to photographing, writing descriptions of what I was selling, communicating with potential buyers, packaging sales and going to the Post Office to ship items.  I had a career, 2 children, a husband, 3 cats, a dog and a house to look after and quickly came to the conclusion it just wasn’t worth the time and effort.  But I was looking for a career change and figured there must be plenty of other busy families with gorgeous outgrown clothing just sitting in bins waiting to be brought to Goodwill, so kd Closet was born!

Selling on kdCloset.com gives you an opportunity to clean out your kids’ closets and make money without leaving your house.  The process is designed to be quick and easy, after all, who has time to individually tag and list items for a consignment sale? Click here to request a prepaid mailer, fill it with your maternity and children’s fashions that comply with our standards, and drop it at the Post Office or give it to your mail carrier.  You will be paid within 30 days of our receipt of the package, regardless of if your items have sold, you literally do not need to leave your house to make money! We have extremely high standards for everything we buy and sell; we only accept higher end brands in pristine condition.  When you request your prepaid mailer, you have the option of choosing to have anything we cannot purchase donated or having the unpurchased items returned to you.

I am so excited that you have chosen to check out kdCloset.com!  Although my business is buying and selling children’s fashions and I am certainly not an expert on children, I will be writing about my experience with my own children who are now 2 and 3.  They are out of the baby stage (FINALLY) but it was recent enough that I can remember pregnancy and labor so we will talk about my very different birth experiences in my next post.

Please follow kdclosetshop on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest where I post great discount codes, featured fashions and fun family pictures!

family-pic-oct-2016